I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
