So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
