Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
