I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Randomize