I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
