yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
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