yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize