Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
