Don't make out with my wife yet
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
