God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I wish I only lived at night.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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