at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
