Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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