Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
