I didn't shave. On purpose
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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