Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
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