She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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