Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
