I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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