Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize
