What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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