she was so not down for the gang bang
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
