based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Randomize
