I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
