Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
