I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
