if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
