I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
