Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
