I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this hospital has no fireball
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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