when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
