I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
