so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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