i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
