My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
