Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Randomize
