guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I want her autograph on my taint
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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