you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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