Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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