Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
