I can tuck mytits in my pants
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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