I'm jealous of your bromance
he wants to bone in the snuggie
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
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