SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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