We're facebook friends in real life
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
