Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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