You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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