Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
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