i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
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Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
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I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.