In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I AM VODKA MAN
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
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