Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize