this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
