i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
