is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize