you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
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