i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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