I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
