..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
