11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
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I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
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Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
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