They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
