This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
