So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
