My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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