I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
