we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
