Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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