Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
He felt like a one man threesome
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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