I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
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What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
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I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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